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Product details
File Size: 526 KB
Print Length: 322 pages
Publisher: Riverhead Books; 1 edition (March 1, 1998)
Publication Date: March 1, 1998
Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B004FPYZEI
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#92,472 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
A reassuring and hopeful guide for anyone new to the process of death and dying -- and in the age of improved public sanitation and advanced medicine, that means a lot of us. Perhaps our great-grandparents wouldn't have needed a book like this, as they witnessed deaths throughout the lifespan. "Dying Well" reduced my fears and informed me: A. about the process of dying,B. what medicine can do to help, C. that once you get over the fact you're dying and can't stop it, you can have people help you meet other goals -- snuggling with your cat, graduating high school, going sailing for the last time, having your gurney trundled into the woods to say goodbye to the trees. (Those are my examples, most of them are not from this book.) I consider this book a pioneering, foundational and seminal text -- I'm amazed it hasn't been reviewed by more people. Given our desire to avoid the subject out of fear and misplaced "positive thinking," we need more books like this to paint the landmarks and fill in the various colors of the landscape of death and dying, especially very slow deaths by "the dwindles" that many elderly people experience now.
This book has been difficult to read, because facing death is difficult. The manner of our dying is as unique as the manner of our living, and having a choice in the way we spend our final days is important. This book gives a glimpse into the life of hospice physician, Dr. Ira Byock. In it, he shares the stories of patients (including his own father) and families who are "exploring the inherently human experience of dying."This is a GREAT read for those who are themselves dying, for people who are caring for someone who is actively dying, or for those who are searching for answers; death needn't be a painful, lonely experience.I was often moved by Dr. Byock's words of wisdom to his patients; that it was okay to die at home, surrounded by family, it was okay to stop eating and drinking if one wasn't hungry or thirsty, it was okay to hold onto those the things which define us; having our nails done, wearing nice pyjamas, smelling good, craving the touch of others, being read to, participating in conversations, feeling valued.More importantly, this book showed me that there is still a possibility to learn, to heal our minds and hearts, to forgive others and OURSELVES, to express love and compassion, and to find purpose and meaning behind our lives while dying or while caring for someone who is. Spending time with someone at the end of their life, whether the person is conscious or not, is beneficial to all parties involved.Please read this book, though you may need tissues...and perhaps a glass of wine.
I believe Dr. Byock, MD defines death, and some of the things you go through very explicid. Which I believe is a good thing, because most medical Dr's don't want to even go that route. They don't want to "loose the battle ", when in all actual reality You're the one loosing the battle, if that's what you want to call it. He finally sees people and patients for who and what they are. I've read many of the other books mentioned in the book, so I was able to understand early on, where he was coming from. I believe A Must Read....and then for him to write down Questions and answers, and places to go for treatment is a big plus. Thank You Dr. Byock for your wealth of Information! Debbie Feighner/Fort Wayne, IN
This is written by a hospice doctor, giving us the benefit of his years of experience with the dying. The outstanding part of this book is his case study of individual patients and their families during the saga of death. Many a chapter brought tears to my eyes. And it also reads like a mystery story in that you turn the next page to see what is going to happen next. At the end of the book is an invaluable FAQ section (that was worth the price by itself).I bought the book so as to know how to better relate with relatives that have the big C. I was looking for some understanding of what they might be feeling and how to talk to them, things that I might do to ease their mental anguish rather than add to it by inept, uncaring action. This book delivers in all respects and is one you may re-read from time to time for its striking insights.All of us are in the process of dying, some of us are just closer than others - keep that in mind and buy this book.
Beautiful stories about how people have reached a sense of peace/growth/happiness at the end of their lives. It gave me hope while I was experiencing anticipatory grief and trying to be as supportive as possible as my best friend fought terminal cancer. However, it can be hard to realize that we are not able to help someone we love to "die well". Everyone dies on their own terms, and we are not in charge of their choices throughout their journey towards the end of life. I think I developed some unrealistic expectations as a result of reading this book. Either way, anything that can help families and loved ones begin to communicate about these challenging topics is a good thing in my book.
Very helpful and insightful about dying. It was helpful for my friend who was dealing with feeding tubes used on her crippled elderly mother. The feeding tube lasted five weeks until mucus and phlegm built up around tubing at nursing home and hospital. Mother was choking at times. Her lips were badly chapped and they replaced feeding tube and sadly she died three weeks after that, just feeding her meds and no food in the line the last two weeks. Heart was strong but suffering from stroke two months due to difficulty swallowing. Siblings could not agree unanimously not to insert feeding tube.
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